Some come, some go

Sometimes I want to be different. I want other people to see me different. Pull myself to do something unexpected, something not me like. Unfortunately, then people find you posing, lying or just pretending to be someone they think you’re not. And that’s disturbing. Even if I find myself independent from others’ opinions, it still rather stops me from revealing my true self.

However, in my painted world I can be whatever I want. Supergirl - saving the world, wearing green suit, and flying over the oceans.  Crazy biker flying on a bike and hiding my beautiful face under the helmet. Or quiet dreamer, wandering around a city and finding new meanings in every beauty. And the most wonderful me: falling in love with a man, believing in a true love, and being loved. Don’t feel safe to show this painting to anyone – insecure, crazy, romantic and silly I seem to myself. However, I’m sure I believe in true love! Believe that we only accept the love we think we deserve. That’s why I always reject men that seem to love me too much. I also believe that there’s no love without pain, but at the same time this pain is the most wonderful muse and the best an artist can get in his life. And yes, I might be crazy, because after having my heart ripped apart, I still want to fall in love.

You know, I think these paintings are always deep in my heart and sometimes the paint fills me from inside. Who are you in your paintings? 

'...but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” 
― Marilyn Monroe